With heavy heart I accepted HIS decision. So it was sure that I would have to spend 2 months in Bangalore, a strange south Indian city. Not so strange to people though, being the Silicon Valley of India. Tried many things, pursuing our placement team and even the HR to give Gurgaon as the location of my summer internship. But, all my hardships failed.
My favorite one liner being "If you make god wanna laugh, tell him your plans" manifested in my own life. I had been wondering all these times that whenever I leave a decision on Krishna, its always that the thing i want to happen happens, How will I feel, if someday the other thing happened. And it happened. Superficially I reiterated " hari ichhaa" but deep inside I could not accept the fact, that I won't spend 2 months in the comfort of my home but rather in a forsaken city where I know no one. It was unbelievable of his cruelty.
So I landed at Bangalore's HAL Terminal, went straight to Ashish' house (a relative related to me in a complex way). The next day had to go for induction @IBM, which was a pleasant experience. Then the following week passed in confusion regarding our location in Bangalore, consequently could not decide where to shift. The weekend came and I was on the verge of crying. Nothing seemed right. Had no local number to call from. Had to pay huge auto fares. Didn't get a place to stay, didn't get a local number. It was infuriating.
The subsequent Monday was the ultimate test of my Krishna conscious patience. It took me 4-1/2 hours to reach IBM's outskirt campus. And while going back, my cousin said, he would be late and that I would have to wait for him outside his house. I was just about to get all complaining, when a very beautiful thought dawned. We have been reading all this while in Prabhupada's books that this material nature is temporary and could not be depended upon. But only if we depend on him, fully taking to his shelter then there would be no danger. So here I was in a strange land where people speak a different language. Its dark, have no place to call my own.
My favorite one liner being "If you make god wanna laugh, tell him your plans" manifested in my own life. I had been wondering all these times that whenever I leave a decision on Krishna, its always that the thing i want to happen happens, How will I feel, if someday the other thing happened. And it happened. Superficially I reiterated " hari ichhaa" but deep inside I could not accept the fact, that I won't spend 2 months in the comfort of my home but rather in a forsaken city where I know no one. It was unbelievable of his cruelty.
So I landed at Bangalore's HAL Terminal, went straight to Ashish' house (a relative related to me in a complex way). The next day had to go for induction @IBM, which was a pleasant experience. Then the following week passed in confusion regarding our location in Bangalore, consequently could not decide where to shift. The weekend came and I was on the verge of crying. Nothing seemed right. Had no local number to call from. Had to pay huge auto fares. Didn't get a place to stay, didn't get a local number. It was infuriating.
The subsequent Monday was the ultimate test of my Krishna conscious patience. It took me 4-1/2 hours to reach IBM's outskirt campus. And while going back, my cousin said, he would be late and that I would have to wait for him outside his house. I was just about to get all complaining, when a very beautiful thought dawned. We have been reading all this while in Prabhupada's books that this material nature is temporary and could not be depended upon. But only if we depend on him, fully taking to his shelter then there would be no danger. So here I was in a strange land where people speak a different language. Its dark, have no place to call my own.
Who could I depend on ?
My friends ? No they were no there.
My intelligence ? It was failing me.
My family? My parents? They were not there.
Who could I depend on. Yes the answer was very crystal clear. KRISHNA, my sweet lord gopala, the thief of butter and radha's heart.
The wonderful feeling that I am in a situation created by him felt like I was sitting on his lap and that he was caressing me and making me better in every which way. Oh! Shyamsundara, how I had forgotten to depend on you, my only dear friend. My lord, how could I stop even for a second to doubt your shelter.
So all this while it was his own sweet pastime to keep me engaged in the material distress and finally conclude that nothing is better but the nectarine bhakti rasa that bestows strength, courage and bliss to face any situation. Krishna is so personal that he personally takes care of his fallen devotees( like me) to regain their faith and enthusiasm. But I, being the most fallen soul of this time, still don't get straight with my act. I remain the greedy, lusty person I am.
So all this while it was his own sweet pastime to keep me engaged in the material distress and finally conclude that nothing is better but the nectarine bhakti rasa that bestows strength, courage and bliss to face any situation. Krishna is so personal that he personally takes care of his fallen devotees( like me) to regain their faith and enthusiasm. But I, being the most fallen soul of this time, still don't get straight with my act. I remain the greedy, lusty person I am.
Today read a wonderful blog of a young guy my age who belongs to the caretaker family of Sri Radha-Ramana temple. He stated the same fact that "our bhava rises only in distress, in normal times, its lakshmi bhava". In illness we'll take time out to do our devotional practice, but in normal times, meetings and appointments, and TV shows grab a priority to the service of lord. Such is the mystic potency of maya devi. But he is the mystic lord Jagannatha. If he comes on our side, victory is ours. "param vijayate sri krsna sankirtanam"
Hare Krishna
